today's gratitude (silence retreat)

I am so happy and grateful that I am going to Hope Springs this weekend for a silence retreat. Even though I have not developed a regular meditation practice, as I had meant to do, since my first silence retreat one year ago, knowing it (meditation, Hope Springs, spiritual guidance, all of the above) is there for me to access whenever I need it is simply wonderful. Literally.

We will hike in the snow, eat beautiful, vegetarian food, rest, journal, gaze into the fire, sit, and just see what comes up.

Last time, I arrived without having done my homework. I simply forgot to. I had been asked to bring a statement of intention to set the purpose of my time in the quiet. I just showed up completely open, ready for anything, curious, wondering a bit about whether I was on my path, whether I was "supposed" to go in some new way.

As it turned out, I was fine being merely open. A beautiful soul appeared to me with a helpful and loving message, touching me very deeply.

My question one year later is this: what is the particular goal my soul had in embarking on this current life's journey? I feel that I am on my path, and I am learning to take it one step at a time, but I'd like more insight into the reasoning behind it.

This seems cliche, now that I try to put it into words. Am I not asking the same question that every seeker has asked in every cartoon and comic book mission to the Dalai Lama in the Himalayas or to the hermit's hut in the deepest heart of the forest: What is the meaning of life?

But I don't need the whole answer right now. I just want to know what it was that my soul and my guide agreed would be my soul's big work in this lifetime, and why did I choose to undertake it in this particular way?

I'll be sure to let you know what I find out.