Soul stuff

Our soul takes on a set of challenges for each lifetime, and when we are doing the work our soul has signed up for, people observing us tend to say we are "on our path". I think we can know within ourselves that we are on our path when we find we are fully engaged, when we say we feel so alive, energized, motivated or inspired.

But when, thanks to our being human, we stray from the path, or lose our way, I think that our soul either gets bored or frustrated or whatever, and 'checks out' to some degree while waiting for us to get back on track. We are here to develop ourselves, to evolve on a soul level, and when we are either not connecting with others from our soul group (who are here to work alongside us) or we are missing or ignoring messages, signs from the spirit world...then we are not doing what we came here to do. I think this is where the sensation of numbness comes in (more fully felt when it ends), and also what enables others to observe "you are becoming less yourself" or "you are shrinking from the person I once knew you to be". People told me this when I was dating my ex-husband, but I didn't listen. Now, looking back, I don't see the marriage as a mistake, per se. I had to do my work at my own pace; I still do.

It can be overwhelming to come back from being numb. Think about how your frozen fingers feel when they thaw out after a snowball fight - it hurts!! But it is our natural human state to be full of feelings, and it's exciting! That must be why souls continue to come back to Earth, for the passionate experience one can have here.

For me, it was my son's birth, and my relationship with him that brought me back from a state of numbness. And the way I was able to be with these two people - father and son - was so different, and I struggled with the awareness of that sad disparity until finally I recognized which way was best for my soul, and had to let go of the other. Immediately upon separating, I drew an entirely different type of person to me, and I made new friends, which I had not done for years. People said I looked much younger than I did in the wedding album that had been created over six years earlier. I ceratinly felt more attractive than I had in a very long time.

I had a very emotional time adjusting to being fully engaged with life again. At first, it was a roller coaster. I swung from manic to despairing and back again quite often, and did a lot of emotional eating along the way. But eventually, I leveled out somewhat, and quieted down enough to be able to recognize one of my soulmates when I looked him in the eye.

And since then, I've had excellent company on this adventure called life, adding other wise and familiar souls (in the new bodies of Sam and then Isaac, as well as older bodies of new friends) to my circle as I roll along. I laugh and cry just about every day. And I am loving every minute of it.