Saturday, June 11, 2016

getting dressed: fashion or style?

When you get dressed, are you trying to follow rules, to conform to an image, or are you engaging in individual self expression?

Fashion is a system of ever changing rules, created to sell clothes, accessories and other products and services (think hair style, makeup, body glitter, self tanner)

Style is about adorning and presenting yourself to the world, also using clothes and accessories, products and services.

Recently, I was congratulated on facebook for being "unique and stylish in a cookie cutter world".

So. there it is  - I am not fashionable, I am STYLISH.  I have never been a rule follower.  I am not a criminal, but I do delight in breaking rules and getting away with it.  Dressing up, for me is a fun, easy way to do that.

In Washington DC, where I live, this is quite extraordinary; DC is famously devoid of personal style. A radio promo recently invited people to listen to a program about why people do not take fashion risks in DC.  What would they be risking? I wondered.  I didn't have time to listen in and find out.

Then, a few days later, I was gently chided (criticized seems too harsh) for wearing a dress covered in clear sequins to speak at a law firm downtown.  Sequins are reserved for after five, I was told by one new friend.  Sequins are not for weeknights, advised another.  Hmmm.  I had felt great standing at the podium in that dress and I had also received compliments from the person in charge of the event.

The same person who complimented my style on facebook also wrote: DC is a very conservative dress environment. It's one of the few places where women still routinely wear hose with skirt suits on even the hottest days.

And then I learned that a fashion blogger on rant.com had created a list of things women over 30 should no longer wear.  Another blogger responded with a terrific list of what women over 30 SHOULD wear; each photo had the same caption: "whatever the f#$& she wants".  I saw all the fabulous pictures of women over 30 wearing clothes that clearly made them feel terrific, obviously not following anyone else's rules, and I wanted to cheer.

I'm planning on turning 50 in a few months, and I haven't known how to mark the occasion.  But I have decided today to start sharing what I wear, in hope that I might inspire people to have more fun getting dressed.

One thing I have learned is that not everyone feels the same way about getting dressed.

Many people find it stressful.  Some parent friends of mine tell me their kids can have meltdowns while choosing clothes for school.  Other friends worry about not having the right thing to wear.

I love clothes; I was taught by my mother and her mother to love acquiring them and wearing them, and I pretty much always have*

As you will see, I love color, all of it, including ivory, grey, beige, navy and black (yes, yes. I know, not a color) but also deep pink, bright orange, red and purple.  I tend not to dress in bright green or blue or yellow,  but just because I am not drawn to it.

I also love hats.  I find that I wear a hat at some point during almost every day, if only to cover up the bed head I'd otherwise have while walking the dog each morning, or to protect me from wind or sun.

I once went an entire year without buying a single article of clothing for myself, in part to save money but also to observe the impulse and where it came from.  I am a bargain hunter, but I demand quality.  Consequently, I love to shop for gently worn (or new, with tags) vintage designer clothes, especially in Ohio, where I lived for many years.  Whenever I go back to visit, I make a point of stopping in at my favorite consignment stores.

I wear what makes me feel happy, confident, comfortable...and I find that I get compliments on something I am wearing almost every day.  I have to conclude that the way I dress makes other people happy, too.  I hope that is true for you.

* with this exception: when I have not been happy with the shape of my body, I have not enjoyed getting dressed. When I rapidly gained weight as a troubled eighteen year old, and again, while I was pregnant, dressing up was much less fun than it is now.