Soul stuff

Our soul takes on a set of challenges for each lifetime, and when we are doing the work our soul has signed up for, people observing us tend to say we are "on our path". I think we can know within ourselves that we are on our path when we find we are fully engaged, when we say we feel so alive, energized, motivated or inspired.

But when, thanks to our being human, we stray from the path, or lose our way, I think that our soul either gets bored or frustrated or whatever, and 'checks out' to some degree while waiting for us to get back on track. We are here to develop ourselves, to evolve on a soul level, and when we are either not connecting with others from our soul group (who are here to work alongside us) or we are missing or ignoring messages, signs from the spirit world...then we are not doing what we came here to do. I think this is where the sensation of numbness comes in (more fully felt when it ends), and also what enables others to observe "you are becoming less yourself" or "you are shrinking from the person I once knew you to be". People told me this when I was dating my ex-husband, but I didn't listen. Now, looking back, I don't see the marriage as a mistake, per se. I had to do my work at my own pace; I still do.

It can be overwhelming to come back from being numb. Think about how your frozen fingers feel when they thaw out after a snowball fight - it hurts!! But it is our natural human state to be full of feelings, and it's exciting! That must be why souls continue to come back to Earth, for the passionate experience one can have here.

For me, it was my son's birth, and my relationship with him that brought me back from a state of numbness. And the way I was able to be with these two people - father and son - was so different, and I struggled with the awareness of that sad disparity until finally I recognized which way was best for my soul, and had to let go of the other. Immediately upon separating, I drew an entirely different type of person to me, and I made new friends, which I had not done for years. People said I looked much younger than I did in the wedding album that had been created over six years earlier. I ceratinly felt more attractive than I had in a very long time.

I had a very emotional time adjusting to being fully engaged with life again. At first, it was a roller coaster. I swung from manic to despairing and back again quite often, and did a lot of emotional eating along the way. But eventually, I leveled out somewhat, and quieted down enough to be able to recognize one of my soulmates when I looked him in the eye.

And since then, I've had excellent company on this adventure called life, adding other wise and familiar souls (in the new bodies of Sam and then Isaac, as well as older bodies of new friends) to my circle as I roll along. I laugh and cry just about every day. And I am loving every minute of it.

the origins of Valentine's Day

For those of you who have been cursing Hallmark all these years, here is the story:

Valentine's Day originates from Third Century A.D. Rome.

Emperor Claudius II banned marriage when he observed that men were refusing to leave their wives and join the army. Valentine, a priest, believed in love and marriage so much that he refused to follow the law and continued to marry young lovers in secret. For this, he was sentenced to death. Before Valentine was taken from his prison cell to be executed, he left a note behind for his fair maiden which he signed, “Love from your Valentine”. On February 14, 269 AD, Valentine became a martyr for his belief in marriage and love. Thereafter on February 14, people would honor the sacrifice Valentine made by exchanging poetry and love letters on this day.

I'm not suggesting we should martyr ourselves for love, but doesn't this shed a whole new light on the custom? As for Hallmark, I do think handmade Valentines are best...

today's gratitude

Where do I begin?

Well, all I'll have time to share today comes from my yoga practice.

At Shine in Hyde Park, the chant we intone at the beginning of each class is so beautiful that I want to share it with you. Today, since we were focusing on the second chakra, source of our personal sweetness, we chanted together while envisioning our words as honey dripping from our lips.

This reminded me of a Dan Nichols song my kids and I sing about the Torah: let us soak it up, let it all sink in, sweet words of Torah, sweet as honey on our tongues. But that's a whole other blog entry for another day ;)

Here, for right now, is the chant from Shine:
OM
Namah Shivaya Gurave
Saccidananada Murtaye
Nisprapancaya Shantaya
Niralambaya Tejase
OM

...which means "I offer myself to the Light, the True Teacher within and without, Who assumes the forms of Reality, Consciousness and Bliss, Who is never absent and full of peace. Independent in its existence; It is the vital essence of illumination."

Yeah!

Beautiful!

If you can, you should come and be part of that some time.

Anyway, according to the chakra system, our lower belly is the locus of the energy which connects us to other people, our center for giving, wanting and receiving love. The energy we radiate towards others comes from our second chakra, our root chakra, located between the navel and the pubic bone. Its Sanskrit name, which I've now forgotten, means sweetness. When we radiate sweetness, we invite sweetness; a good lesson.

I am grateful for this morning's gift of 90 minutes during which I was guided to learn about and focus my mind on this energy source while being led through some very beautiful and powerful poses by Wendy at Shine. A highlight for me was when we all held ourselves in "dancer's pose" (body horizontally balanced above one leg, with the opposite foot curled in the hand behind the back, while the hand on the balancing side extends forward) and another was a similar asana, rooted in triangle pose, from which we were instructed to tip over and visualize the self as a sugar cane bow, bending to launch an arrow of sweetness into the heart of one we love.

By the way, the bracelet I wear that facilitates my holding all these wonderful balancing asanas is from Power Balance Technology. So many people ask me about it that I thought I'd put that on here. You can buy it directly from the manufacturer or on ebay or amazon.com. I wear a size medium. It comes in many different colors, and basically, it enhances your body's cellular communication. I can't explain the patented science behind it, but if you have two minutes when you see me, ask for a brief demonstration and you can decide whether this is something you want to add to your basic wardrobe. No, they don't pay me to do this, but they SHOULD! ;)

Namaste, each and every one of you beautiful people, and have a great weekend.

today's gratitude

I am so excited and grateful today to have this artwork added to my beloved yoga mat. A local artist, Radha, recently traveled to India where she observed women performing an ancient pracice of creating art out of wet drippy sand on the shore, only to have it washed away by the tide. Mothers have evidently been passing these ritualized sand drawings down to their daughters for ages, and Radha decided to capture the images and make stencils from them. She stenciled a set onto my yoga mat, one round design to represent each of the seven chakra. I just took it home, stood on the base chakra and performed some basic asanas; I can already sense how this artwork will deepen my practice, my awareness. Just from my first two minutes of exploration, I observed how these beautiful ancient designs align with the corresponding part of my body as I hover, stretch and otherwise move myself through the space just above my mat. Let me know if I can get your mat to Radha; she prints a unique set of stencils on each mat, either in all white or in the seven colors of the rainbow. ($15/$25 plus shipping and handling ;))

today's gratitude

was interrupted by the need to call the plumber and then withdraw the majority of the money in our checking account in order to pay him.

No, that is not exactly true. Before I called the plumber, I had the privilege of waking, feeding and assisting my children and giving and receiving lots of love. I then paid to visit a friend, who made me feel wise, valuable, useful and appreciated, as well as fortunate that I am not currently confronting the dilemma she presently faces. And before I actually had to deal with the plumber, I was able to fill the tank of my minivan with gas for just $2.33 a gallon, which, especially by worldwide standards, is incredibly inexpensive.

I also got to go shopping, and load my cart up to the brim with all sorts of good things, including lovely foodstuffs to serve those of my son's friends who are joining us to watch the Superbowl, a beautiful brie en croute with pecans and fruit, and a very promising bottle of pinot noir to bring to the friend who's cooking dinner for us Saturday night, and even a set of 600 thread count Supima cotton sheets, just because I felt like giving a gift to Hope Springs(I <3 Hope Springs) when I go there for a silence retreat later this month. And lots and lots of soft, fluffy toilet tissue, which is a sure sign that I am living one heck of a comfortable life.

So, the fact that my checking account is now basically a yawning void and I must continue to owe creditors some money that I was about to pay them, is not good, but it is not so terrible, either. We get to continue to enjoy modern plumbing, which smells much, much better than the alternative. But I think I had better return the bed linens, at least until I get some more paid work.

Mural, anyone?

today's gratitude

I feel so deeply grateful today for the opportunity to be here on this passionate planet. With all the many challenges we face here, it is still such a special place. We are surrounded by nature in all its awesome power and beauty. We are able to experience so many pleasures through our five senses, and to create pleasure for others. We can find so many ways to be useful, to be of help to our fellow human beings. What a rich experience is ours for the taking.

I continue to challenge myself to be more self aware, less driven by ego, less defensive, and more open to the opportunities for learning which are constantly available to me. I continue to challenge myself to stop and listen, to be still, to look within, to receive help and guidance.

Remember to enjoy your time here, friends. Love one another. Be of service. Be good to yourself. And be grateful.

Rehearsal on film

This photo is the happy result of an acting job I didn't get. I was recently submitted for consideration for a very small part in a comedy about a composer. While corresponding with the liaison from the film production company, I mentioned that I play the violin. One thing led to another and the end result was that the film crew came to our orchestra's beautiful rehearsal space at KK b'nai tzedek, and filmed our rehearsal to use in the film. This is one of several still pics from the shoot that was sent to me from the production company. We - the Seven Hills Sinfonietta - will be performing at B'nai Tzedek on March 7, 2010. The program will include Vivaldi's second concerto for flute and orchestra, a 1951 poem for flute and orchestra by Charles Griffes and Elgar's gorgeous Enigma Variations.