why I have loved being home at 3:15

I love being home at 3:15. I love it for more reasons than I can say. But I'll give you a small sample. Let's see, precisely why did I love it today?

Well, I loved running lines with Eugene Morris Jerome (aka Max) and yelling, with a lavish, no, a honking Brooklyn accent, "What!? A roller skate on the kitchen floor! Do you want me dead?" and hearing "it's a good thing you didn't audition for this and get cast as my mom, Mom, because that would be crazy, but then we would get to work on lines together a lot," and being able to respond "but I can STILL run lines with you a lot!"

Then, forty minutes later, I loved getting to kiss a soft, sweet cheek, flushed with the excitement of a Monday back in second grade and from the exertion of running from the bus stop.

I loved being able to bake them all cookies and make them each so happy when I delivered three cookies to each boy while he watched TV or worked on homework.
And I loved knowing exactly where the construction paper was when someone needed it for his homework.

Why, you may ask, am I going on about this mundane stuff?

Well, you see, this weekend, I wrote a letter of inquiry, pretty much announcing, if only to a couple of people, for the first time in TWENTY YEARS, that I want a real job, with real accountability, and a real paycheck. I have no idea at this moment whether this letter may actually lead to a job offer, but because in my heart I feel qualified and prepared to do this job well, I have to face the fact that my life may soon be about to change. So, I am savoring this all the more, this being home before four. It's been a good run. I am so grateful, more than I can express, for the opportunity I have had these past fourteen years, to parent on MY TERMS.

Specifically, that has meant structuring not just my career, but my WHOLE LIFE around being available to my children. Some may see that as selfless, but let me tell you, the rewards are also very great. Sure, parenting requires sacrifice - physical (stretched boobs and tummy, grey hair, please don't get me started) financial, emotional (DO NOT get me started!) but it is also indescribably gratifying, when I consider these people who have been in my charge. They're all right. I like them. A lot. And I know that is at least in part due to the fact that I have poured myself heart and soul into them, not on my schedule, but on theirs. If I had gone back to NYC, like I wanted to, like I tried to, this never would have happened. It's one of the biggest hidden blessings of my being "trapped" in Ohio, for which I am eternally grateful.

So, now, I'm waiting for a response to my letter. I was informed this morning that it has been passed into the hands of the Powers That Be. I hope that those in the position to hire me are ready and willing to think outside the box when they read about my background. But that is a topic for an entirely different blogpost. In the meantime, I've got to go start dinner.