unconditional love is an oxymoron

uh huh, that's right, that's what he said:

"if you say it's gotta be unconditional,
well, then, you are,
by definition, you are
putting a condition on it,
and so it's not realism, you see, not to me"

he likes love the way he's always known it
it's familiar, so he's comfortable that way

never saying the word
not showing affection
withholding approval
doling out criticism and sarcasm,
put downs and one ups

for the youngest children
he keeps a very special stash
of impromptu intelligence tests,
to measure their worth,
and report the grim findings

for his daughter,
he holds a trove of memories
to revisit with me
pointing out where I went wrong
each step of the way

Daddy doesn't understand about love
he thinks I'm missing the point
exaggerating its importance
and unconditional love?
well, that's an oxymoron

I think it's about the saddest thing
that I have ever heard
you are rich with love
when you can give love freely
to withhold it is a poverty

I pity my father
with his three homes,
his fancy cars,
and his dark, empty heart
and yet I love him still